


However Far Away

by Tipsy_Kitty



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Werewolf, Knotting, M/M, Were-Creatures, Werewolves
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-24
Updated: 2012-12-24
Packaged: 2017-11-22 06:53:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,953
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/607039
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tipsy_Kitty/pseuds/Tipsy_Kitty
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jared was kidnapped and exploited by humans. Jensen helps him heal.</p>
            </blockquote>





	However Far Away

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the spn_j2_xmas xchange. This was my first attempt at writing any kind of alpha/beta/omega fic, and I kinda made up my own rules because, why not? So it’s a mix of other a/b/o fics I’ve read sprinkled with some actual wolf/wildlife behavior, a smidge of True Blood, and a slight dusting of Big Love. Also, I’m using this to fill the healing/comfort sex square on my homebrewbingo card.

The young wolf felt a rush of euphoria as she chased the jackrabbit through the fields at the far end of the ranch. Her prey was fast but so was she. Just as the rabbit put on an extra burst of speed, the wolf leapt into the air and pounced.

They shifted as they sailed through the air, laughing so hard they were almost choking. Jared and his best friend Genevieve rolled over and over in the meadow, as their limbs elongated, changing back to their human forms.

“No fair,” Jared said with a pout once they were at rest, looking up at the sky.

“You can still only beat me when you’re a cheetah,” Gen said proudly.

“You’re the cheater,” Jared said, and they both groaned at his bad joke.

Jared knew that as an orphaned shifter, he was extremely lucky to have been accepted so easily by the pack of werewolves. Alpha Morgan and his council had talked with other packs in the area to see if there were any other shifters nearby to take him in, but weres like Jared who could change into many different forms were exceptionally rare.

When they finally found a distant cousin living in Belgium, he’d turned out to be uninterested in taking in a homeless 5-year-old shifter. By that time, the sweet-tempered child had won over the wolf pack and most were secretly relieved that he wouldn’t be sent overseas. Papa Jeff’s pack had adopted Jared as one of their own.

“We won’t get to do this much longer,” Gen said as she stood up and made her way back to where they’d left their clothes by the stream. “Don’t you have to pick your Final Form soon?”

Jared shimmied his narrow hips into his jeans. “According to one book I read, it happens on the ’eve of the 18th revolution’,” he said with a shrug. “And one book said that was a myth, and shifters can take any form throughout their lives.”

He pushed his long hair away from his face, trying to hide his concerns. He loved his found family as his own, but it would have been nice to know just one other shifter to turn to for help. All the books and articles he had found contained contradictory and confusing information.

“Then there’s supposedly some parchment somewhere that says omegas and betas will take the form of their alpha mate.”

“So you don’t get to pick?” Gen asked. “What if you fall in love with a were-ladybug?” She smiled her most devilish smile and Jared knocked his shoulder against hers.

“If I get to pick, I’m definitely going to be the fastest wolf in the state. Kick your ass at wind-sprints,” he said.

“Ha! Then you better stick with the cheetah.”

“Well,” Jared shrugged. “I’ll be eighteen in a month. Guess we’ll know _something_ then.”

Gen was the daughter of Papa Jeff’s second wife, and she and Jared had grown up together in the large rambling home, showered with affection by Jeff’s wives and playing with Jeff’s many children. As Pack Alpha, Jeff was entitled to as many mates as he wanted, but he had stopped himself at three: his alpha-mate Samantha, beta Traci, and omega Julie. Most agreed that his restraint in this regard was one of the reasons why his pack was so tightly knit and loyal. Greedier Pack Alphas who wanted dozens of wives had been known to run out their young, virile alpha males.

Gen and Jared got along so well that they had thought at one time they might be destined to be life-mates, but when they reached their early teens it became clear they were both omegas.

“Good. Now we can’t ruin our friendship with sex,” she had declared, wrinkling her nose in distaste.

As they headed back towards home Gen said, “Hey, Mama Samantha said we could have chocolate—” but Jared grabbed her around the wrist to silence her. He scented the air, and she did the same. They looked at each other with alarm and then shifted again, running for their compound as fast as they could.

There were humans nearby, and they were not well-meaning. Fear rolled off of the men in waves, as well as a predatory hunger, tainting the air with an unpleasant, acrid smell.

The young weres sprinted for home, wolf and cheetah side by side, putting their all into this race.

Then Jared felt a crushing pain that stopped him in mid-leap. He looked over his shoulder to see his hind leg caught in a scary looking trap, angry metal teeth grinding against the bone.

Gen turned around but he cried out to her to keep moving, to get Papa Jeff, to stay safe, and she ran for home.

Shadows fell over him, blocking out the moonlight, and he looked up at them as he panted in pain and fear.

“One out of two will do,” said a voice.

“Yeah,” another voice agreed. “Right, kitty-kitty?”

Jared saw one of the men pointing a gun at him and he cried mournfully for his pack, sure that he would never see them again.

 

 

 

“Hey Jensen, we got one of your kind on the books today,” the receptionist called out.

“Really?” Jensen was surprised. Werewolves were notoriously quick healers; for one to need the services of an orthopedic physical therapist meant something had gone very wrong for the were at some point. He’d treated a few weres over the years, usually survivors of auto collisions that would have killed a human.

“Yep, three o’clock. Twenty-year-old male,” Kim said as she handed over the new-patient file she’d created.

Jensen flipped through the pages. “Hey, Kim, you missed a box,” Jensen said as he pointed to the WERE TYPE: space on the form.

“Nope. The man I talked to wouldn’t say.”

“That’s…really?” Jensen rubbed his neck. He supposed it didn’t matter, he’d only ever come across two kinds of weres—wolves and cougars, and their treatment would be pretty much the same. He’d heard tell of others in different parts of the world but never come across one himself. He couldn’t see any reason for the new patient to be coy about his second self, but he could ask his questions during initial consultation.

He was catching up on his paperwork that afternoon when he detected the welcoming scent of weres sitting in the waiting room. One was undeniably an alpha-male but the other very hard to place. There was the pure and beguiling scent he would expect of an unmated omega, overlaid with a confusing array of other odors, strangely human in nature, that almost masked the omega’s own sweet fragrance.

He entered the reception area and a large handsome man with a salt and pepper beard stood up to shake his hand.

“Hello, Alpha,” Jensen said.

“You can just call me Jeff,” the man said with a smile. “You must be Jensen. I’ve heard good things about you and your work.”

Jensen recognized the name of the pack leader. Jeff and his pack kept mostly to themselves on a large working ranch a few miles out of town with dozens of cottages and outbuildings so the pack could spread out but still feel close. It was a charming place, with cozy log homes, a lake full of fish, and acres of woods for the wolves to run without disturbing the cattle or vegetable gardens. Jensen had visited it a few months ago when he had been tentatively pursuing a young omega who lived there. Jensen had always wondered about the place, assumed the weres there would be standoffish, like the weres he had been raised among, but they had all been lovely and welcoming to him and it was with some regret that he had realized the young man he was courting would not be his mate-for-life.

Alpha Morgan had not been there that day, and neither had the boy now huddled over in his chair.

“Are you Jared?” he asked. The boy, man really, though he looked terribly young and frightened, raised his head. “Yes, sir,” he said quietly.

He smiled. “You can just call me Jensen. Why don’t we go back to my exam room and figure out what sort of PT you need.”

“I’ll come too,” Alpha Morgan said, and it was not a question.

“Of course,” Jensen agreed smoothly.

When Jared stood up and started limping towards the door to the exam rooms, Jensen was finally able to place why the boy’s scent was so strange.

He met Morgan’s eyes, his own wide with shock. Morgan nodded briefly once and followed Jared down the hall.

Though Jared was unmated, he was anything but a virgin. Jensen could detect the scent of dozens of others, humans, who had been with the boy. It made him feel sick because while all weres mated for life, omegas were completely monogamous; they never willingly sought multiple sex partners.

 _Gods, that poor kid,_ he thought.

 

 

Jared sat on the exam table studying his hands as the therapist checked over his ankles. He had tried to tell Papa Jeff and Mama Samantha that he didn’t need anyone’s help, that he could walk just fine, and heal on his own, but the mangled bones in his wrists and ankles had been broken and fused and re-broken so many times that they refused to knit together the way they were supposed to.

Jensen seemed nice enough, and his probing fingers were gentle, but Jared felt miserable that the alpha was being forced to touch a filthy omega like him. He made himself as small as he possibly could as he hunched over on the table.

He closed his eyes and let the scent of the therapist wash over him. It was comforting, even a little intoxicating, and he wondered if maybe he and Jensen could have been life-mates if he’d never been taken. No alpha he’d ever met smelled as wonderful as Jensen, a heady combination of spices and earth and green like mown grass, and it made him want to stick his tongue out to taste the air.

The momentary calm and happiness he felt being in Jensen’s presence evaporated when he reminded himself that no alpha would ever want to be with an omega as unclean, as _used up,_ as Jared. He’d forever lost his chance to be loved by one special alpha when he stepped in that horrible trap.

Jared felt tears begin prickling behind his eyes. He wouldn’t cry, hadn’t cried since his parents died, no matter what the hunters did to him or how much it had hurt, and he wasn’t going to start now.

Instead he blanked out and retreated into the corridors of his mind. His body stilled, gaze fixed straight ahead on the wall. He was a monkey leaping through trees; a graceful gazelle racing Gen through the tall grasses of the meadow; an otter swimming joyfully in the lake.

Untouched. Clean.

 

 

 

 

Jensen could tell when his patient disconnected from the world, stopped responding to Jensen’s touches and questions. He stepped away and nodded to Jeff.

“I think maybe we should have a talk in my office,” Jensen said. Jeff stood Jared up and walked him down the hall back to reception, sat him down in a chair where Kim could keep an eye on him. Jared made no indication that he was seeing any of his surroundings as Jeff led him along.

“What happened to him, Jeff?” Jensen asked as soon as they were seated. “The more I know, the better I can design a treatment plan.”

“Jared won’t talk about what happened.” He caught Jensen’s eye, looking guilty. “I had to order him, Pack Alpha to omega, to tell me some details so I’d at least know how to help.”

Jensen rubbed at his temple, wondering where to begin. “What kind of were is he?”

“He’s a shifter,” Jeff said absently.

“He’s—really? I’ve never met an actual shifter. I wasn’t even sure they were real.”

Jeff smiled. “They’re real all right. Nothing like trying to discipline a young pup only to have him turn into an owl. Jared hid in the trees and ate mice for a week once to avoid punishment.”

“What kind of punishment?” Jensen asked, sitting up a little straighter. It occurred to him that even though Jeff seemed gentle, Jensen still didn’t know exactly what had happened to Jared.

Jeff met his eye. “Kitchen duty.”

Jensen smiled, relieved. “Never one of my favorites either.” He opened Jared’s file and made a couple of notations. “So, if I remember the lore correctly, he should have chosen one form to stay in when he was eighteen, right?”

“That’s what we assumed would happen,” Jeff said. “Either that or he’d take the form of his life-mate.”

“But that didn’t happen?”

“I don’t really know what happened.” Jeff looked out the window. “Jared was kidnapped when he was just shy of eighteen. Some hunters, men, took him away. By the time we made it back to where he’d last been seen, they had shot him with a tranq gun and doused the whole area with gasoline to throw us off the scent.”

Jensen closed his eyes briefly, thinking of the sweet-faced young man in the other room, pulled away from his pack, subjected to gods knew what…

He looked back at the file, at Jared’s birth date. “They kept him for two years?”

“Yeah, almost. Jared finally got away a couple of months ago. It’s taking him awhile to readjust.”

 _No kidding,_ Jensen thought. “So he can still take many forms? That could complicate his treatment.” At Jeff’s questioning look he continued, “Part of working with weres includes providing exercises and therapy for both selves.”

Jeff sighed. “Let’s not worry about that for now. He’s sworn to never shift again.”

Jensen was appalled. Weres were two selves in one; it would be impossible for him to ignore his wolf. Even now, at the thought of never shifting again, he felt his second self rise up in him with a threatening growl. He reassured the wolf with a promise that they would run through the woods that night.

“Okay, we’ll focus on fixing the man first,” Jensen said. “They obviously used some kind of silver to keep him from shifting or else he could have just flown away. Is that what’s wrong with his wrists and ankles?” Jensen asked.

Jeff pursed his lips. “Mostly they kept him in a silver cage, but they also had an array of silver restraints,” he said.

Jensen sat forward in his chair, waiting for Jeff to continue.

“He tried to get away, over and over. Even though….” The look in Jeff’s eyes was agonized. “Even though they punished him every time he ran.”

“Jeff. I need to know what happened to his bones.”

The Pack Alpha clenched his fists unconsciously.

“Whenever he fought back or got loose, they’d lock him down with silver bear traps bolted to the floor.”

“Mother of the gods.” Jensen sat back, feeling sick.

 

 

 

 

“So what you’re telling me,” Christian said as he shoved another hot wing into his mouth, “is that in all the years we’ve been friends, you never told me you could _literally_ sniff out virgins?”

The curvy brunette setting down their second pitcher looked away, pretending not to hear.

Jensen sighed. “It’s not that simple.”

“Is she—?” Christian whispered, watching their server walk away.

“It only works with weres. Omega weres, specifically.”

After his meeting with Alpha Jeff and the young shifter that afternoon, Jensen had barged into his partner’s office, barely remembering to ask if Chris had any more appointments on the books.

“I have all this insurance paperwork you keep bitching at me to fill out,” Chris protested as Jensen pulled him towards the door.

“Leave it. We’re getting drunk.”

He hadn’t intended to tell Christian anything about his appointment, but he was so thrown by what he’d learned that some of the story just spilled out of him after his second beer.

“So some ‘hypothetical’ patient comes to see you and you can tell just by using that weird wolfy snout of yours—”

“Shut up, Chris,” Jensen said, sounding tired.

Chris leaned back in his chair. “I’m sorry Jensen, I know you’re upset. I’m just having trouble wrapping my head around this.”

Jensen picked up another wing. Though the primal wolf in him was pleased to be gnawing on flesh and bone, it reminded Jensen that he had promised it a run, not a belly full of beer.

“It’s because weres mate for life. So omegas who wants to mate with an alpha try to keep their scent clean and pure. Alphas are extremely possessive, and don’t like sharing.”

“But you’re a were.”

“Yeah?”

“Well, I know for damn sure you’re not a virgin.”

Jensen shrugged. “It’s different. Alphas and betas are expected to, you know…” he trailed off, a little embarrassed.

“Scatter your seed? Go forth and multiply? Fuck like bunnies?”

Jensen rolled his eyes. “Besides, it’s not like I’ve ever…” he trailed off, glancing over at Chris. “Nevermind.” He was pretty sure there was not enough beer in the bar to get him to explain that he did save himself, in a way, because his life-mate would be the only one he would ever knot.

“Omegas, something in their scent changes when they meet their mates.” He shrugged. “Still provocative, but different, because they’ve been claimed. And anyway, I’ve never met an omega who enjoyed messing around with different partners.”

“So you guys get to do the comparison shopping and omegas have to wait to be bought?” Chris snorted.

Jensen grew defensive. He decided he’d better skip the part about Pack Alphas indulging in several life-mates. Chris was having enough problems processing the scent thing.

“It’s biology Chris, I didn’t make the damn rules.”

“No, but they seem to be working in your favor. No wonder all you alphas are such cocky bastards.”

Jensen rolled his eyes. “Like you know any other alphas.”

“You just made my point for me.”

Jensen punched him on the arm, a little too hard, and then signaled their server for another pitcher.

Jensen didn’t share anything else about his new patient, but he was haunted by the boy. Jared still retained the alluring scent of an unmated omega and it called to Jensen’s wolf, awakening a primal need to find a life-mate that Jensen had put on hold while he finished school and started up his practice with Chris.

Jensen couldn’t imagine Jared would ever want to be mated after what he’d been through, and it saddened Jensen. He thought that maybe, if things had been different … he shook his head to clear it. No use thinking about what might have been. He would just have to concentrate on helping Jared heal as best he could. He’d do everything in his power to get Jared running and jumping again by Thanksgiving. Maybe by then Jared would be willing to shift again.

 

 

 

 

Jensen spent three days a week out at the ranch helping Jared with various exercises designed to strengthen his atrophied muscles and improve his mobility. After three months, Jared was showing vast signs of improved flexibility in his brutalized wrists and ankles, although there were still days that he seemed lost in his head, reliving the torture of the past two years. Whenever Jensen saw Jared disengaging, he would sit next to him and talk quietly about what they’d been working on for his therapy, and what movies he’d seen lately, and how much he hated the Redskins, and anything else he could think of to draw Jared back to the present, back to Jensen.

One day in late October, Jared was not waiting for him in the small field house that was set up with weights, machines, and a half-court basketball court. Jensen waited a few minutes before setting off in search of him.

He wasn’t hard to find; Jensen simply closed his eyes and let his wolf ferret out Jared’s unique scent signature, fresh rain and spun sugar. He followed Jared’s circuitous route to the lakefront, realizing as he walked that Jared had given the field where he’d been kidnapped a wide berth.

He was sitting cross-legged on the pier, hands resting palms up on his knees, staring out at the water with unseeing eyes.

These were the times when Jensen wanted to just gather Jared into his arms and take care of him, protect him, claim him, _knot_ him. He had to fight hard against his alpha nature in those moments; though Jared trusted him enough to let Jensen guide him through some of his exercises with a gentle hand, he still shied away from most physical contact.

He sat down next to Jared, wondering again how a kid that tall could fold himself up so small.

“It’s beautiful out here,” Jensen began quietly. “I can see why you’d rather be at the lake. ’Specially since I was planning on increasing your leg reps today and then wiping the floor with you at Horse. I know you’re thinking that couldn’t happen, just because I’m a couple of inches shorter and you’ve won every other game, but this was going to be my day, you know? You must have sensed that, decided to duck out of your session.”

Jared showed no reaction, except to blink occasionally, but that didn’t stop Jensen.

“So I was thinking maybe we could skip the workout, just for today. Head back to the main house, hang out for a while. I brought a couple of movies with me; oh man, they’re gonna be terrible. I can’t wait.”

Jared’s left hand twitched just a little.

“We’ve pretty much covered every movie with a talking dog or baby, so I figured it was time to move on to something else. It’s going to be tough, but I know we’re up for the challenge.”

Jared’s hand inched towards Jensen.

“See, there’s like, at least six movies out there that are considered the Worst Movie of All Time, and I’m sorry, but that’s just not acceptable. ‘There can be only one,’ right? So I figured we’d watch them and decide once and for all, yeah?”

Jared’s hand brushed against Jensen’s thigh before be laced their fingers together.

“So, first up we have a double feature of _The Room_ and _Death Bed: The Bed That Eats._ What do you think?”

Jared leaned over and rested his head on Jensen’s shoulder.

“That sounds terrible,” he whispered with a ghost of a smile.

“It’s gonna be so awesome,” Jensen promised, squeezing Jared’s hand gently. “Just wait.”

 

 

 

 

By the beginning of December Jensen had tapered off his visits to the ranch to once a week. Between Jared’s hard work and his abilities to heal, he was going to be back in fighting form before too long.

Jensen was pleased with the amount of progress Jared had made, but he would be sorry when he no longer had an excuse to visit the compound. He was very fond, possibly _too_ fond, of Jared, and he’d enjoyed spending the past six months in the company of other weres. It had made him realize how lonely he was for a pack of his own. Because he lived and worked in the city, he had to keep his wolf on a tight leash.

“Sorry you have to spend so much time coming out here,” Jeff said one day as they walk towards the gym. “Jared’s getting better around humans, but he’s still pretty skittish in town.”

“Are you kidding? I love it here. It makes me miss the place where I grew up.”

“Where was that?”

“A compound outside of Dallas.”

Jeff looked thoughtful. “Alpha Pileggi’s pack?”

“Yeah.”

They entered the gym, where Jared had already started his exercises.

“How old were you when they ran you off?”

“Fifteen.”

Jeff shook his head. “Never saw the need for that kind of thing myself. A pack can’t hope to stay strong and united if it keeps running off the alpha males.”

“It was, yeah, it kind of sucked. But at least they gave me some money to get started, to go to school.”

Jeff rolled his eyes. “Big of them.”

Jared looked up as they entered and smiled when he saw Papa Jeff and Jensen. Being around Jensen was like a balm to his fragile psyche. Breathing in the alpha’s delicious scent soothed and calmed Jared, even as it somehow excited him.

“Check out these wrist curls, Jensen!”

“Looking good, Jared,” Jensen said. “You’re almost like new.”

Jared looked away then as he continued working his arms, knowing he’d never be good as new.

“I’ll leave you boys to it, then,” Jeff said. “Jensen, staying for supper tonight?”

“Thank you Alpha, I’d like that.”

Jensen walked around Jared as he finished one set of 20 and began another.

“Your mobility and flexibility are almost back to 100%, Jared,” he said. “You’re not going to need me hanging around for much longer.”

Jared felt a stab of pain at the thought. He loved his time with Jensen. As much as he adored his large family, as much as he’d missed them when he was gone, Jensen was the only were he knew who didn’t know him _before_. Who didn’t look sad when Jared didn’t behave as he would have back when he was a dopey teen who didn’t know any better.

Jensen seemed to like him for who he was _now_.

Jared pushed through another set, sweat running down his face and into his eyes. _Jensen’s paid to like you, idiot_ , he told himself.

Sure, sometimes after his sessions they hung out and played video games or watched movies, but Jared was pretty sure that was just because he liked being around other weres. Even a weirdo like Jared who wouldn’t shift anymore.

He set down the free weights and headed over to the machines.

“Are you looking forward to the Solstice, Jared?” Jensen asked. Jared shrugged, pausing to take off his sweaty t-shirt and throw it in the corner.

“Dunno, haven’t thought about it much,” he said. He knelt down on the bench on all fours, getting into position for some leg curls. He looked over at Jensen through his sweat-soaked hair, surprised to find his therapist backing away from Jared with a strange expression on his face. Jared jumped up, embarrassed, and began apologizing immediately.

“Oh, Jensen, I didn’t think, I’m so sorry…” he grabbed up a sweatshirt to cover himself so Jensen wouldn’t have to see his ugly, polluted body. Jensen gave him a look he couldn’t quite decipher and then turned and fled the gym. Jared went to the door to see Jensen walking, no, _running_ , to the large circular driveway where he’d parked his car only a few minutes before.

Jensen didn’t stay for dinner that night.

 

 

 

A few days later, Jared was in his room filling out forms to take some classes online when Papa Jeff and Mama Samantha knocked on his door.

“What’s wrong?” he asked them. They exchanged glances.

“There’s something we want to talk to you about, Jared,” said Mama Samantha. “We have a few questions for you.”

He turned stricken eyes to the Pack Alpha, afraid that he was going to make Jared talk about _them_ again, and tell his parents all the twisted things they’d done, how they’d charged rich clients to fuck a shifter. How they’d gotten rich while Jared just got hurt.

“Please don’t ask me about them, _please_ ,” he begged, knowing he couldn’t deny a direct order from his Pack Alpha.

Jeff looked sad.

“Jared—” his mama said.

“I’ll do a better job talking to Dr. Collins, I promise, it’s just, I can’t always find the words and I know I’m wasting your money when I just sit there but I promise I’ll do better. Just, _please_ don’t make me talk about it to you. You _can’t_ know the things I’ve done.” The words kept spilling out of him even when he wanted to shut up, and his eyes burned from his unshed tears.

“Maybe you should handle this Sam,” Jeff said, squeezing her hand. “I’ll wait in the hall.”

When his Papa was out of the room Jared was able to—mostly—stop shaking.

“Shhh, it’s okay. That’s not what we wanted to ask about, sweetie.”

She sat down next to him on the bed and leaned against the back wall, pulling him in close. They stayed like that for several minutes, while Jared tried to find steady ground again. She wrapped her arms around him and rocked him gently, until he was calmer.

She looked around at his single bed and asked, “How long have your feet been hanging off the end of this thing?”

He smiled. “Since I was 14.”

“We might have to do something about that.” She ruffled his hair. “So, Wednesday we’re expecting a big crowd for the Solstice dinner, you know,” she said.

He nodded. “Any…humans?”

“Just a few. Good people, no one you don’t know.”

“Oh. Okay.”

“And Gen will be in tomorrow evening.”

He cheered up a little at that; he couldn’t wait to see Gen again. She had found her life-mate a year after Jared was taken, and when he got home he learned that she was in the middle of a difficult pregnancy and couldn’t travel.

“Is Alpha Olsson good to her?”

“Of course he is, sweetie. You think he wants to risk the wrath of Papa Jeff?”

Jared laughed. “Not if he’s smart.”

“Well, he’s smart. So you don’t have to worry about that.”

“Good.”

“So, Jared,” she began again, and he tried not to tense up. “We never really talked to you about the birds and the bees and the betas, you know.”

Jared coughed. She could not _possibly_ be getting ready to give him a sex talk after what he’d been through the past two years.

“Thing is, we weren’t exactly sure if your body would go through the same process as the werewolves and werecougars do. So we didn’t really talk about it and we should have.”

“It’s okay Mama, it doesn’t matter.”

“It does matter. We didn’t prepare you like we should have.” She took his hand. “Do you enjoy spending time with Jensen?”

He didn’t quite get what one had to do with the other. “You know I do. He’s funny and smart and he lets me beat him when we play basketball. And when I’m having a bad day, he finds the stupidest movies to watch.” Jared smiled. “Like, _Sharktopus_ stupid. And then I feel better.”

“Do you feel…special when he’s around?”

He looked at her, suddenly squirming with embarrassment.

“It’s important, sweetie.”

He closed his eyes, thinking. “I feel safe when he’s around,” Jared said. “I feel good when he’s close to me and sad when he goes away.”

He opened his eyes. “It’s just a stupid crush though, right? I’ll get over it.”

She smoothed back the hair on his forehead. “How does he smell to you?”

Jared closed his eyes again and took a deep breath, imagining Jensen standing in front of him. “Falling snow-running river-chocolate cake-cut grass-baked ham-clean laundry.” He opened his eyes and smiled at his Mama. “Unless he ate onions for lunch.”

“Jared, honey, that’s the kind of stuff you experience when you meet your life-mate.”

“What!” He sat up suddenly, looking stricken. “He _can’t_ be my life-mate!”

“Why not?”

For the first time in 15 years hot tears threatened to spill down his face. “Because I’m _dirty_!”

Jeff entered the room again and sat down in the desk chair.

“You’re not, Jared,” he said. “You were hurt, and it wasn’t your fault. And I know it was upsetting to your second self to be forced into sex with someone other than your life-mate. But that doesn’t mean you’re damaged.”

Jared put his head in his hands and finally began to cry. “I can still smell them, _all_ of them!” he said brokenly. “Every single one. And I _hate_ it!”

Samantha wrapped her arms around him and rocked him back and forth.

“I know, Jared. But to us you are just as sweet as you ever were.”

After several long moments his sobs tapered off to snuffles and he rubbed at his wet eyes, embarrassed.

“’m sorry,” he mumbled.

“I think you probably needed that,” she said.

“It doesn’t matter anyway,” he said. “Jensen doesn’t want me; he ran away from me the other day.”

Jeff cleared his throat. “Yes, about that. Jensen called me this morning and told me he can’t be your physical therapist anymore.”

Jared’s stomach shifted unpleasantly at the thought of losing that last bit of contact with Jensen, though he wasn’t surprised. Really, it was a wonder Jensen had stood being around Jared for as long as he had.

“Okay,” he said dully. “Can I go to bed now?”

His parents exchanged glances.

“I think you should know why Jensen—”

Jared curled up into a ball and turned away from them, pulling his pillow over his head to muffle Jeff’s voice. They could make him listen to them; they were alphas. But after a couple of minutes he felt the bed shift as Mama Samantha stood up and they left his room.

He thought he might cry again, like he’d opened some kind of floodgate he’d never be able to close, but he didn’t. Instead he lay awake for hours thinking about what he should do, where he should go. He couldn’t keep being a burden on his adopted family. Maybe he’d just head out to the wilderness up north and shift one final time. Live out the rest of his days as a mountain goat or a yak or something.

Maybe after he made it through the holiday. He really wanted to see Gen one last time.

 

 

 

 

Jensen showed up at the ranch early on the morning of the 21st.

He scented the air as soon as he escaped the confines of his car, trying to locate Jared. _His life-mate_.

Jared might not know it yet, but Jensen was sure. He needed Jared like he needed oxygen and water.

He didn’t want to scare Jared away though. He could sense Jared’s pheromones calling out to him, drawing him in, but Jared might not even be aware of it. If he advanced too quickly, reminded him in any way of the humans that had hurt him, it would all be over.

Jeff had invited him to stay at the ranch for a few days, and he showed Jensen to one of the more secluded cottages near the back of the compound.

“We call it the honeymoon suite,” Jeff said with a wink as he ushered Jensen inside.

The cottage was cozy and warm, a fire already roaring in the large stone fireplace. It had an open floor plan: one large room with a soaring ceiling, a small kitchenette, a hot tub, and a spiral staircase leading to a loft with a king-sized bed piled high with pillows and soft blankets.

“Nice,” Jensen said looking around.

He reached into his duffel and pulled out a string of Christmas bulbs. “I brought these along, I thought Jared might like to look at the lights,” he said. “I mean, if he even wants to visit me here…”

“I think Jared would like that,” Jeff said. “In fact, I went ahead and cut down an extra tree for this place. C’mon, I’ll give you a hand.” They brought in the tree and decorated the mantel and the tree and the windows with icy blue fairy lights that twinkled in the firelight.

“Dinner’s at 7,” Jeff said as he got ready to leave. “Then we’ll celebrate the Longest Night.”

“Thank you Jeff. For everything.”

 

 

 

 

Jared took a long, hot shower, trying to clear his head and his senses. He knew when Jensen had arrived that morning, knew where he was all afternoon. He didn’t understand what had changed, but sometime over the past month their easy camaraderie had altered, leaving Jared in a near constant state of arousal. Today was worse still than the last time he’d seen Jensen.

It was making him crazy.

The shower helped to soothe away some of his anxiety. He didn’t understand why Jensen had even accepted the invitation if he couldn’t stand to be around Jared anymore, but then he remembered that Jensen was packless, and probably just didn’t want to spend the Solstice alone. Jared could understand that, even though he was considering running far away himself.

He pulled on his nicest pair of jeans and a pale blue sweater of Jeff’s, too large but soft and broken in, before flopping back on the bed to stare at the ceiling.

Gen knocked quietly and pushed in the door, and soon she and Jared were curled up on his bed, her baby between them. They whispered to each other about her alpha and her new home while the baby slept and snuffled, and Jared felt better than he had in days when it was finally time for them to head downstairs to the celebration.

There were so many guests that several long tables had been lined up side by side, and there was much laughter and jostling of elbows and knees as everybody was seated.

Papa Jeff greeted all the guests, and blessed the Longest Night and the Coming of the Light, and everybody cheered and clinked their wine or ale glasses. Then the food was brought out—a salad of endive and radishes, peppered beet soup, steaming bowls of mashed potatoes and sweet yams, roasted turkey—all of Jared’s favorite winter foods.

He could scarcely eat though. He was hyperaware of Jensen, sitting at the table next to his, their backs almost touching. Jared started to feel flushed, a hot fluttery feeling in his stomach and a thrum running through his body like a low-grade electrical current.

“Mama Traci?” he whispered and she leaned in close. “I don’t feel good.”

She looked him up and down and touched his forehead.

“Your burning up, Jared. Do you feel sick?”

“Not sick…just feel really strange.” His voice sounded thick to his own ears, and he noticed with embarrassment that the butterflies had moved lower down, so his cock was twitching in his jeans. And there was a slickness he’d never felt before…

 _Oh_. He thought. _Oh gods, no_.

“Are you going into heat, Jared?” she asked with concern.

“I can’t! I don’t have a life-mate!” he hissed, trying to keep his voice down to avoid calling attention to their corner of the table.

She took his large hand in hers, the coolness of her skin providing the tiniest bit of relief.

“I don’t think your body knows that, baby,” she said. He looked at her, eyes huge with fear, before he jumped up from the table and bolted out the door and into the winter night.

He knew he should run as far from Jensen as he could so he wouldn’t jump into the reluctant alpha’s lap in the middle of dessert in front of the gods and everybody, but his body was screaming at him to stay, to find his mate, to find relief. He felt a maddening itch spread through him from the roots of his hair to the tips of his toes, a longing so deep it seemed to pierce his soul.

Jared’s body instinctively drew him to the cottage where Jensen had spent the afternoon. Jared knew he should just keep running till he got to the edge of the ranch and beyond, but he found himself instead wrenching open the door and stepping into a twinkling fairyland of blue lights and the scent of pine, a cozy warmth and _Jensen-Jensen-Jensen_ and he couldn’t possibly leave, could never leave.

He threw himself on the oversized, plush couch feeling both better and worse. It was intoxicating to be surrounded by Jensen’s scent, but he felt an insistent need to be taken, to be _filled._

He gripped the cushions tight and ground his body against the couch, searching for any kind of relief, but instead his need continued to swell until he was practically keening.

He heard a wolf howl and he groaned. It was Jensen; he was coming. The rational part of Jared that knew he should let the alpha find a more suitable mate had been replaced by an animal lust and a need to be claimed that could not be reasoned away.

He stood up and stripped off his sweater and t-shirt as he felt the wolf’s approach, kicked off his shoes. He was standing barefoot in just a pair of jeans when the screen door swung open and a large wolf with bright green eyes leapt into the room.

Jared fell on his knees at the wolf’s approach.

“Alpha,” he breathed. “I’m sorry.”

And then Jensen was there, kissing him, pressing him back onto the hardwood floor, growling as he licked Jared’s neck.

Jensen lifted his head and asked hoarsely “Why are you sorry? You don’t want this?”

“I want it, gods I want it,” Jared moaned, rubbing his crotch up against Jensen’s naked form. “But you shouldn’t have to be with a damaged omega. You deserve better.”

Jensen kissed him again, rolling them over so Jared was on top, grinding down into Jensen with a choked off whimper.

“You’re perfect,” Jensen said. “You’re perfect and I want you to be mine, only mine, but only if you want it.”

Jared darted down and kissed the words as they left Jensen’s mouth. “Want you. Want you so bad. Only you,” Jared whispered.

Jensen groaned and reared up, wrapping his arms around Jared’s waist.

The bed seemed miles above them and they ended up on the couch, Jensen tugging impatiently at Jared’s jeans.

“Please, please,” Jared moaned. “Need you so bad.”

“Gonna take care of you, Jared,” he mumbled. “Make you feel so good. Make you mine.”

Jared kicked off his jeans and knelt with his head resting on the soft arm of the couch and his ass in the air. “Already yours,” he mumbled.

Jensen traced his fingers over Jared’s rounded cheeks, up his back, down to his trembling thighs.

“Please, alpha,” Jared begged.

“Are you absolutely sure, Jared?” Jensen whispered, fighting against the haze of pheromones ordering him to fuck Jared into tomorrow. “It’s forever.”

“Ever and ever,” Jared said, lifting his ass higher to bring his alpha home.

Jensen sank into Jared’s hot flesh, both of them moaning.

There was no time for finesse or exploring or kiss-lick-nibbling every square inch of Jared’s body like he wanted to, there was just _need_ and _want_ and _now_ and fucking into Jared’s slick hole, pistoning his hips until Jared made soft little cries with every thrust.

“More, need more,” Jared whimpered and Jensen gripped his hips, feeling the swelling at the base.

“Gonna knot you Jared, okay?” he asked.

“Gods, just do it already!” Jared panted, and Jensen laughed. He leaned over and nipped at Jared’s neck. “Pushy little omega, huh?”

“Please, please alpha,” Jared moaned, and Jensen felt the swell and push of his knot growing. He reached for Jared’s cock and Jared sobbed as he spilled hot come into Jensen’s hand, and then Jensen was coming with a hiss and a final hard thrust, his knot locking them together, snug against Jared’s sensitive gland, making Jared cry out again.

Jensen collapsed onto Jared’s back, cock continuing to pulse and release his come, Jared whimpering and pressing back against him, both of them moaning and writhing as their bodies rode wave after wave of pleasure until they were insensate.

 

 

 

 

When Jared came to, he was still locked to Jensen, warm arms pulling him in close, Jensen nibbling and licking at his throat.

“Are you branding me?” Jared asked with a weak laugh.

“Absolutely. I’m biting my initials into your neck.”

“Hmmkay,” Jared mumbled, tilting his head back in further submission so his alpha had better access to him.

“Love you so much Jared,” Jensen said between bites. “Want you forever and ever.”

“Really?” Jared asked, sounding doubtful. “Even though…”

“You are perfect, and there’s nobody else in the world I want. You’re beautiful and brave and strong and such a survivor, and after everything you’ve been through you still have the best heart.”

Jared smiled. “I guess I am pretty awesome.”

“The awesomest,” Jensen agreed, wrapping Jared more tightly in his arms. “You okay? Comfortable? We might be here awhile.”

“Perfect,” Jared yawned.

Jensen reached behind him and pulled the soft fleecy blanket over them, snuggling even closer.

“This is the best couch in the world,” Jensen mumbled.

“Hey, you’re missing the Solstice run,” Jared said suddenly.

“There’s no way I’m leaving you—or this couch—to run around in the woods,” Jensen said, surprised that his wolf agreed with that statement, contented in a way the animal had never been before.

“But you—”

“We’ll catch it in June.” He rocked his hips forward and Jared groaned softly, pushing back.

Jared was quiet for several minutes, both of them shifting their hips and grinding into each other to wring every last bit of pleasure out of their first mating.

“I haven’t…since…”

“I know,” Jensen said. “And if you never want to let out your second self, I’ll respect your decision. Just not sure your wolf will.” He stroked Jared’s chest and pressed a soft kiss into his shoulder.

“Might not be a wolf. Might be a hippo.”

“You might be a werehippo?”

“Why not?”

Jensen laughed and resumed nibbling at Jared’s neck.

Jared pressed back into Jensen, reveling in the feeling of being locked to his alpha, a wondrous sensation he’d been convinced he’d never experience. They lay quietly until Jensen’s cock was soft enough to slip out, and then Jared rolled over and tucked his head under Jensen’s chin.

“It’s just,” he said quietly. “People wanted the thrill of fucking a shifter.”

Jensen’s arms tightened around him but he let Jared continue, throwing a mental lasso over the wolf who suddenly wanted to run into the night and _gnash bite tear._

“Not like, an animal, just, I had to prove that I was really…” he trailed off again. “They would make me, and I’d try to refuse until I couldn’t anymore. And I decided if I was free I’d never shift again, I didn’t think I’d ever _want_ to again.”

“Do you miss it?”

“I’m starting to.”

“You know I’ll never let those men hurt you again, right?”

Jared laughed softly. “Not really an issue. They finally let their guard down when I was able to shift and ...”

“You are so amazing,” Jensen said.

Jared blushed and ducked his head. “Anyway, maybe it’s time you start helping my second self get better too.”

“Your inner hippo?”

Jared kissed Jensen’s chest and then reluctantly pushed himself off the couch, away from his alpha. He stood up and stretched, Jensen admiring the strong lines of his body. Then he dropped in one fluid motion, transforming effortlessly into a large, shaggy wolf, white and brown like Jensen, but chocolate colored where Jensen was tawny.

Jensen sat up and looked at him, stunned. “Is that your final form?”

The wolf put his chin on Jensen’s knee and looked up at him adoringly.

Jensen let himself transform too and the two wolves gazed at each other in the firelight.

 _Do you want to run?_ Jensen asked with a twitch of his ears.

_No. Just wanted to see._

_You sure?_

_Need you again._

_Already?_

_Always._


End file.
